Looking Back on Fall Date Nights in YYC:Dome Dining Edition..Down The Rabbit Hole We Went

Date nights are always a fun opportunity for me to get dressed up a, throw on a Burgundy Jewel Toned Lipstick and venture out to a new eating establishment we haven’t been to yet. I get nostalgic thinking of when my mom and dad used to go out for dinner which was often saved for special occasions like a birthdays or anniversaries. My mother always had a flair for rich vibrant colors, and would accessorize her long royal blue coat with a ruby or emerald broach pinning her silk scarf against the lapel. Her cheeks freshly rouged as she shuffled me into my black patent dress shoes smelling of Shalimar and Oil of Olay.

It’s only to be expected that I’ve followed a similar pattern of pomp and circumstance on date nights. My boyfriend Tony is well programmed in his responses to my questions around appropriate dress attire where he’ll simply say:

“Wear whatever it is you’d like to wear!”-Smart Boy

It should also come as no surprise that I’ve been extremely overdressed on multiple occasions, but chalked it up to sometimes Truck Stop Diners with world famous pie deserve the opulence.

According to its Website:

We’ve had a couple of mentionable dinner dates in the last several weeks. We finally had made it out to Bow Valley Ranche Restaurant, located in a historical site in Fish Creek Park, Calgary Alberta.

According to its Website:

“The story of the Bow Valley Ranche is nearly twelve decades long. Throughout its many years, the house has always had a reputation for holding unforgettable parties. It began with a few characters who were critical to the development of Alberta’s cattle industry, the Big Four. In fact, the idea of the Calgary Stampede may very well have been conceived within the walls of the house.

In 1896, cattle rancher and businessman William Roper Hull purchased property along the Bow River and built a sprawling ranch house. The ranch became a centre for refined social activities, as he entertained many local and foreign visitors there. Among the activities popular with the guests, tennis and the outdoor pool were crowd favourites, as you can see from the pictures below.

Hull owned the house and property until 1902, when it was purchased by Patrick Burns, a successful cattle rancher who eventually became a senator. Almost a century later, local residents Mitzie and Larry Wasyliw created the Fish Creek Restoration Society in 1995 for the purpose of restoring the Hull residence. In the summer of 1999, the ranch house was opened as a fine dining restaurant.”

Bow Valley Ranche is a fine dining resteraunt and we were celebrating our common-law anniversary, which is a thing for some of us fearful of marriage!

September 28, 2020 gave us an abnormally warm evening and looked forward to clutching on to the last few days, hours and minutes of outdoor dining we could. We had also been aware that they were hosting the Foodies in the Park Series : Wonderland Dome Dining which we will return to experience on October 23rd, 2020. Stay tuned for that!

We strolled along the pathway leading up to the impressive farmhouse, lined with old fashioned street lanterns. It reminded me of the scene in Mary Poppins, Bert and the children went to the park and broke into song singing:

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious !

Amazon.com: Mary Poppins 50th Anniversary Edition: Julie Andrews, Dick Van  Dyke, David Tomlinson, Glynis Johns

A quaint little fountain in the middle of the Ranch House’s garden marked its way before we arrived at the steps leading us onto a porch that wrapped its way around the house. I knew that was where I wanted to sit for dinner, and we were led to a discreetly placed table

We started our dining experience with a hearty helping of Oysters on the half shell, fresh grated horseradish, lemon and mignonette du jour. On our first date, we had worked our way down 17th Ave, Bar and resteraunt hopping with our last stop being Market. There we drank cognac and ate Oysters until we ended up taking the party back to my place *wink *wink- So it only made sense to indulge.

For dinner I had the Smoked Gouda & Wild Mushroom Stuffed Chicken with macaire potatoes, asparagus, tomato confit and roasted peppers. Tony had the Rougie Duck a L’Orange, with Russian Blue mashed potatoes, green beans, baby carrot vichy. Both entrees were delicious, however we had a little giggle over the plating of his food, specifically his Russian Blue Mashed Potatoes.

No description available.
No description available.

We ended our evening of with a dessert of truffles that were on the house. Our waiter was so excellent and quite charming, ensuring our glasses remained full or if we needed anything in the most cordial of ways.

It was a beautiful way to finish up a gorgeous September.

Last night we ventured North of the bow River to SS106 Aperitivo Bar, and Italian Kitchen nestled in the heart of Crescent Heights on Edmonton Trail.

According to their Website:

“SS106’s name derives from the SS106 which is a 491-kilometre highway on the Ionian coast in southern Italy, stretching between the towns of Reggio Calabria in the west to Taranto in the east. While the highway offers incredibly scenic views of beaches, ancient coastal towns and the sea, it is also known as one of Italy’s most dangerous roads, due to tight turns. However, Domenico (the owner) wanted to change the highway’s reputation right here in their hometown of Calgary.

SS106 Aperitivo Bar was opened to create the Italian lifestyle here in Calgary. The Italian lifestyle is very social and every Italian visits their local bar daily even if it’s just for a quick espresso. Many people who have not traveled to Italy have a perception that Italian restaurants are only quiet and candle lit. In Italy many Italian restaurants & bars are very social, happy and louder. SS106 Aperitivo Bar has brought a piece of Italy to YYC.”-Website

And loud it was! It made me long for my girl gang and a time during pre-pandemic days where we’d sit for hours, drinking, laughing and taking no particular notice of the other diners around us regardless of how racey the topic was.I could see the owners vision at work as small groups of diners grazed over plates of Charctuterie, Olives and Pasta.

SS106 makes all their pasta in house and lived up to its charm of not trying to be anything else but just that. A perfect spot to drop in, fill your belly, and try one of their craft cocktails. I enjoyed an Apertivo called the Busted Negroni-Cinzano | Campari | Prosecco | Soda.

We ordered the TAGLIERE (BOARDS) Fromaggio and Calamari to start which were pretty standard and tasty. For our entree’s I had ordered the Gnocchi ai Funghi which is their House-made gnocchi served in a gorgonzola cheese fondue with seared mushrooms. Tony ordered the Fusilli Calabresi pasta served in a tomato sauce with parmesan cheese, which I ended up wishing I had ordered with its nicely spiced, well balanced sauce.Alternatively they have pizza’s as well that perhaps I will try next time. It was a nice time and I was happy Tony had come across this place for our date night. The service was awesome and quick, and very Italian!

Stay tuned for our next date nights in YYC : FoodiesintheparkWonderland Edition

Don’t forget to follow my Instagram @BPEYYC & my Facebook Page:@shegotthatBPE

You Gotta Know When To Fold’Em: Breaking Free, and Finding Happiness after Divorce

I’m not one to talk about the past too often unless it brings fond memories, which for the most part I have many. The topic is not that far in the past that it doesn’t still give me residual pangs of hurt that feel as recent as yesterday at times. But I wouldn’t be willing to discuss it openly if it didn’t offer some level of experiential wisdom for anyone who may be facing similar circumstances.

You see it would be approximately 5 years ago that I made the decision to leave my marriage. The marriage was a result of a very long relationship in which it seemed just natural and right to transition to the next step. There is no real love story behind it, rather quite the opposite. In fact if you were to have only had the experience of knowing me more recently, the idea that I would have consorted with the mundane would seem absurd. However, let us return to the Cece of Christmas’s past. Proposals, marriage and the filling of new homes with children is what everyone was doing at that time. It’s what everyone was doing around us. I’m unclear why my mother’s voice wasn’t piping in at this time saying “If all your friends were jumping off a bridge, would you?” But in the case of marriage and settling down, the world around you is giving you a life jacket and pushing you off the ledge. I admit its easy to blame societal pressures to conform; I don’t deny that at that time I was all in. And when I say “all in,” I mean I wasn’t able to foresee my life being anything different than what it was. My vision was exceptionally narrow and reinforced by the baggage I had brought with me from my previous abusive relationship.

Often when marriages and relationships dissolve its only natural in many instances to look at the other person and place the blame on them and their shortcomings. That’s not to say that many partners are 100% to blame and do terribly selfish and hurtful things in which the other played no role other than love someone who didn’t deserve them. And in my case, it went both ways, however its never fair to dive into the details without the other’s ability to share their perspective. And I’d be open to that but he hasn’t answered my calls in three years.

I’m sorry to disappoint you and advise this post is not about my shitty marriage that didn’t work out. In all likelihood, I may devote a whole wine fuelled podcast on the subject, but until then I’ll uphold some integrity. I’m grateful that I am alive and well today living my life in the most authentic and honest way. What a difference 5 years can do for you when you make the best decision of your life.

Which leads me to the topic of how I reclaimed my life when it began to gain momentum in a direction that wasn’t a genuine path for who I am as a person. I believe for many people there are “tells” just like in a game of poker. You see just like the game of poker we often bluff when we aren’t holding a good hand; getting caught up in the risk taking and potentially losing it all. Often when the momentum has us pulled in, there is no consideration for the long game. The more we begin to lose, the more our “tells” come out as the anxiety and desperation begins to build. You see, when you keep seeking the rush of winning and ignore the consequences of losing, we’re left in the emotional poor house. At the tail end of my losing streak, I admittedly had lots of tells, but I also gave the illusion that I had lots of chips in my pocket.

Poker-playing AI threatens to unseat a raft of Texas Hold'em champions -  ExtremeTech

So its no surprise that when I landed on my ass, my emotional poor house was located on the corner of Despair avenue and Hopeless Street. I found myself in a deep, destructive depression that I could not for the life of me dig myself out of. I was erratic in my choices and behavior, and admittedly had considered running my car into bridge barrier one evening as I was screaming at the top of my lungs at the universe in anger. That event haunts me until this day because while it was over 5 years ago, the emotions, my surroundings, what I was wearing, the car indicator lights are as clear as if I was there right now in this moment.

Bridge Underpass Images, Stock Photos & Vectors | Shutterstock

You ask what could have brought me to such a place of despair?

I can trace it all the way to the beginning when I first met my ex-husband. I was a single mother at that time with a one and a half year old. I was fresh out of an extremely horrifically abusive relationship with her biological father that left me in ruins emotionally, physically and psychologically. I was 22 years old and I was not equipped with the self awareness and emotional maturity to tackle the damage- in fact I was oblivious to it. I ended up settling after a year with the first real boyfriend I had since leaving my abusive relationship. When I say anyone that was nice to me and wasn’t physically abusive towards me was my standard at that time. The relationship brought many good things regardless of my basic standards whereby I returned to University and got my Social Work Degree from the University of Victoria. My daughter grew a close and loving relationship with a man who accepted her as his daughter whereby they remain very close. I couldn’t have asked for a better father for her and for that I will be forever grateful. He provided us with an extended family and sense of belonging that I had not experienced coming from such a small family myself. He remained committed to our little family and moved to where I got my first Social Work Job in Northern Alberta, leaving his family behind and beginning a life as a unit in a strange small town. Life was looking up as it was during the Alberta Oil Boom and Fort McMurray promised wealth and stability for us as a family. The momentum of my life appeared to be moving in the right direction. I was adequately distracted by my own ambitions and self actualizing a life that was ultimately the way it’s supposed to be in the naively idealistic sense.

Then one day his vision began to blur which quickly turned into vertigo, precipitating what we thought was a stomach flu. We went weeks attending the hospital and trying to treat his stomach flu. I knew something was terribly wrong, and finally demanded he be admitted to hospital otherwise I was approaching the media. Through further testing he was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis at the age of 25. He left Fort McMurray to recover with his family thousands of miles away, where I ultimately decided that I would help him get through this and we would make it work.

It was a devastating blow in every aspect.

This wasn’t part of the plan. In fact it shattered all our plans, and dreams which were left in pieces at our feet. Despite my rage and the unfairness of it all, I quickly resorted back to what I knew best. I had been here before and did what I thought was best in crisis; which was to ignore the emotional impact and take care of those who weren’t as seemingly strong as I.

And there you have it. Mistake #1-Believing others don’t possess strength without you.

Poor Self-Esteem and Confidence can make the human spirit rely on others to validate importance and purpose where others who are in pain can fulfill these voids for us. The experiences/traumas responsible for planting those weeds of doubt in ourselves can be vast and complex. In my circumstances, it would be the trauma from domestic violence, the psychological and verbal abuse. I strongly believe that there is a strong sense of co-dependency created within these dynamics, whereby one enables the other. When done improperly, assuming the role as the “rock” can also perpetuate maladaptive inferiority roles for those who feel powerless with their diagnosis. And in regards to my marriage- I take accountability for succumbing to depending on being needed then feeling stifled years later by creating the culture of dependency.

How do we remedy this? Well I can’t say I was successful in doing it in my marriage otherwise I wouldn’t be speaking about a husband that is now an ex. But over the last 5 years since starting over, I have successfully committed to putting my physical and emotional health ahead of others. This often means, setting firm boundaries and expectations with loved ones and communicating my bottom line. At times it can appear intolerant, or lack empathy, however when our reasonings are given context it can be the most admirable lesson ever. Not everyone will understand this- but know it is for us as individuals to actualize our strengths, and I see no better way than to demonstrate it by walking the walk.

So this leads me to my second mistake.

Mistake #2- Using others crisis as a distraction to avoid my own shit.

I feel like I take the cake with this one, because I could have picked a more appropriate career as a social worker to enable me in doing this. Nonetheless, do you ever find yourself immersed in others lives, being over involved in problems that aren’t your own, and coming to the rescue of some damsel in distress. I was this person, and counted on filling my world with a plethora of noise to avoid the loneliness and pain I was feeling. My bucket continued to run empty as the fruits of my perceived “strength” went unacknowledged or appreciated by my partner, and overutilized by others. I had created the norm and the illusion that I was the “Rock,” someone who had their shit in a pile. That was my doing, because if I eluded to otherwise people would stop running to me with their noise and I’d really be alone. You see, he was increasingly declining in health and struggling with the neurological complications of Multiple Sclerosis. He was angrier, moodier, and more depressed. Intimacy or signs of romantic connection were not reciprocated and I found other ways to appease my needs to feel a connection and needed.

It wasn’t until I left my marriage that I truly felt what it was like to be alone as my home was loaded up and squished into a small 2 bedroom condo. You see at that time I had nothing available to give therefore the noise stopped and the distractions saw no value in what I had to offer during this period. There were few calls or invitations to reach out and help me move or keep me company. It was then that I saw the value in standing alone in the deafening silence and appreciating the space required in order to redirect all my focus inwards. Often we look at isolation or being seemingly forgotten as a reflection of not being worthy or loved- when in fact its Solitude that is being given to us. So the next time you are feeling lonely or overlooked, take the silence as an opportunity to give your soul some good advice and leave the unnecessary distractions at the door.

Mistake #3-Believing that others opinions mattered

I was completely debilitated by what I thought people would think if I made the decision to leave. Never mind that the circumstance were making me suicidal, but with no success in reaching out for extended family support, I was still left with an enormous amount of guilt. What kind of wife was I leaving her husband when he had MS. The only thing worse than me was the husband who left his dying wife with cancer for the cute blonde nurse that was hired to do the home care. I was worried about what they would say about me and how I would be perceived by choosing a chance at life again. What would my daughter think of me, who couldn’t even begin to understand what I was feeling. And why would she, I had managed to shield her from the majority of my unravelling. I was terrified by all the hurt that I would be placing on everyone around me.

Do you see Mistake #1 weaseling its way in here again?

What I realized in this process is that not one person who’s opinion I was worried about ever took the time to listen or ask if I needed support. I can’t believe I was worried about what this would mean for them and concerned that they would have to take over the responsibility of his care. I was actually worried that this would burden them and they would be angry with me that I had not tried hard enough or just endured longer. In the end it all worked itself out, which is a testament that when we walk away people have the ability to find a solution with or without us.

In hindsight, I wish I had been more kind to myself during this time. It doesn’t take a genius to recognize that the challenges we were facing could be tackled in isolation yet we were left with no other option. The marriage counseling along with the long list of personal coping strategies and personal sacrifice at the expense of my mental health had fallen flat. The fact that I’m explaining this further is my lingering “tell” that perhaps I still have some feelings of guilt to work through.

What awaited me on the other side of it all was the overwhelming support from my own family and close friends who knew there was a life out there for me. You see they had boundaries with regards to where they were willing to rejoin me again and even my daughter stood by my decision and me throughout it all.

Mistake #4- Not Doing it Sooner

I wish I had conjured the courage and wisdom it took to commence the decision to move ahead quicker that had been overdue. My days of bluffing no longer held a strategic purpose in my life and with a sense of relief, happily folded the cards I was dealt. Perhaps that ominous bridge barrier that originally symbolized an end for me, alternatively was the beacon of hope that life was worth living if I just changed the direction of my wheel.

Amen to that.

And while I don’t intend on stewing to much more on the mistakes of the past, I hope that in sharing them provoked some fruitful “What if’s” for you if you are facing a need for change. Whether you are facing a decision to get sober, ending a toxic friendship or leaving an abusive relationship-know that you always have choice to change the direction.

Begin to free yourself at once by doing all that is possible with the means you have, and as you proceed in this spirit the way will open for you to do more.
~ Robert Collier

Please go follow my Instagram @cece_a_broadtalez

Game Night Series: Never Have I Ever with The Broad from TalezFromaBroad.Ca

50 never have I ever questions - Best never have I ever questions

I can honestly say I spent a good majority of my 30’s saying Yes to as much as I possibly could. I obviously took into consideration some parameters with that being said, as I’m not a complete degenerate and was not void of actual adult responsibilities. Setting out to take on the World of Yes, was a conscious decision with a simple but heavy goal in mind. I wanted to ensure that when I came to the end of my life, I would have as little regrets as possible. I think we all can agree that there are always going to be some, but mine wouldn’t be from lack of trying. I envisioned having a lengthy highlight reel that would give me a gift basket of delightful memories that I could share in the dining room of whatever retirement home that my child abandoned me at. I imagine that while we would all be seated around the dinner table, gumming our pot pies, I’d finally realize my comedic dream. I would want to make them laugh until they’d take their last breath or mine. I anticipate that when the moment finally arrives I’d come gun cocked to blow away the cute nurse aids with my risqué tales of the past. They’ll sit their in dismay as I charm my way into their hearts so that I can earn extra ice cream cups. That’s actually how my dad passed away; holding a popsicle. We like our ice cream, and will get it at any cost.

Blanche Devereaux Quotes. QuotesGram

You may ask, so where am I at now with journey through Yes-dom….I’m Exhausted. Legitimately so pooped and to be quite frank, bored with the idea of tackling anymore hedonistic and mischievous pleasures. I recognize that good memories are not just based in naughty behavior, but I’ll tell you most good stories are! Often my girlfriends would be leaned in for hours, elbows up, lips pursed and nursing their craft cocktails over some over exaggerated and highly dramatized versions of my weekend exploits.

I can’t help but grieve the parts of me that I have left behind from that era. The parts of me that were so very whimsical and inconsequential. I carried an air of disregard for opinions, carefree from the chains of judgment; confident in my decisions and who I was. It was a bigger than life character, based on this bigger than life personality that was fighting to break free from the monotony of important roles I had as a mother and in my career. I’ve always been beguiled by pushing those boundaries that we become comfortable in or strive to work within. Embracing my own womanhood over the last 2 decades I’ve admittedly been unkind to myself when I have not been able to fit into the societal cookie cutter molds. Through self expression and actualizing self love, I quickly learned to make my own mold as unique and un-uniform as my personality. Molds should be malleable, transformative, and progressive in the same we are, developing in our lives.

But with that being said I’m not against taking on a few more YES moments, in fact time is ticking! When time is of the essence one must look at things far more pragmatically. I realize that in spending so much more time in the predictability of my home setting that opportunities will no longer just fall in my lap. In the desolate abyss of my home-life equipped now with a meditation corner and a crafting table I’m at a loss creatively as to what deviance lays ahead of me. Perhaps the crafting table could be turned into 50 shades of gray bondage slab…just beware of the glitter glue!

I’ve decided to tackle it from a more guided approach, that being a little game of Never Have I Ever with myself. So if I have Never; then I will add it to the list!

“Never Have I Ever” Questions

  1. Never have I ever sent someone a naughty pic- Who hasn’t?
  2. Never have I ever slept in the buff.-Everynight, accept in Winter becuase my boyfriend likes to sleep with the Fan and Window Open. Its Pajamas or Frostbite.
  3. Never have I ever received a lap dance. -Lots, in fact my least favorite was the one I got for my bachelorette party in Las Vegas. I think his name was Rick Steele…and he offered me to pay him more for the XXX version. I declined.
  4. Never have I ever given a lap dance.-Yes, and I’m not good at it. I’m usually horribly drunk and have fallen over on multiple occasions.
  5. Never have I ever taken a sexy selfie.-Seriously?
  6. Never have I ever had a friends with benefits.-Thats what we call Dating Apps, minus the friend part…I’d just call it Benefits.
  7. Never have I ever kissed a stranger.- Define Stranger? Aren’t we all strangers at first.
  8. Never have I ever flashed someone.- Definitely flashed a few body parts in my time.
  9. Never have I ever had a threesome.-This has occurred- Sorry mom
  10. Never have I ever role played.- I cant say that I have actually role played…well that is
  11. Never have I ever been skinny dipping.- It started in high school and never stopped, the best feeling ever to be naked in water that isn’t a bath tub.
  12. Never have I ever been caught looking at something naughty- I have not!!!
  13. Never have I ever made out with someone of the same sex. *eye roll*
  14. Never have I ever sexted.*YAWN *
  15. Never have I ever flirted with a teacher. *Nope…maybe a coach? My school didnt really have any hot babe teachers
  16. Never have I ever been to a nude beach. * I’ve been to two, one at night for a beach party and no one was there, another no one was there and the beach was rocky with no sun so I left.
  17. Never have I ever watched porn. -Not much lately.
  18. Never have I ever had a crush on a coworker.-Maybe a long time ago like 20 years ago
  19. Never have I ever been to an adult store.-Plenty of times
  20. Never have I ever played Dirty Truth or Dare. – I used to host this game at my house in school
  21. Never have I ever taken a shower selfie.- Are you crazy…I’m so klutzy, I’d get it wet. Bath selfie yes.
  22. Never have I ever been shy in the bedroom.- Shy no, Lazy Yes.
  23. Never have I ever had a one night stand.- More than I can count
  24. Never have I ever fallen in love at first sight.-Hell No
  25. Never have I ever kissed on the first date.- People only kiss on first dates?
  26. Never have I ever been on a dating website.-That’s how I met my boo bear…he was a one night stand that turned into forever!
  27. Never have I ever been turned down.-I’m going to say No, only because I’m not a girl that takes chances with rejection.
  28. Never have I ever dated more than one person at once.- Uhhhh isn’t “dating” about meeting people and feeling out the masses?
  29. Never have I ever gone speed dating. -Nope, this terrifies me. Small talk…ewwwww.
  30. Never have I ever been dumped.-Does being ghosted count? Because I have definitely been ghosted.
  31. Never have I ever said “I love you” without meaning it.-I have actually…but its complicated.
  32. Never have I ever slept with someone twice my age.- I have not!
  33. Never have I ever spied on an ex online.- Isn’t this how we all learn how to move on?
  34. Never have I ever had a rebound.-Same as above.

Well that was anticlimactic! Looks like I have maybe two on the deviant agenda, and they really aren’t all that exciting. I’m presenting to my readers an opportunity to build on this list…Insert your outrageous “Never Have I Ever” Questions Below and I’ll answer them!!!

I’ll leave you with a few ideas

400+ Never Have I Ever Questions - HobbyLark - Games and Hobbies
400+ Never Have I Ever Questions - HobbyLark - Games and Hobbies
75 "Never Have I Ever" Questions That Will Spice Things Up | Best Life
games Archives - Fun-Attic

Geisha The Akita Fur Baby: A Puppies Life

We are well into our fur baby’s 3rd week with us- what a ride it’s been! I can’t help but continue to wait for the terrible moment where I find my base boards destroyed or she’s eaten a shoe. So far this gal no longer sleeps in her kennel at night- and sleeps all night. She’ll get up with me in the morning but requires some coaxing to stumble down the stairs to go for her morning business. Geisha prefers, not unlike us humans, a gradual emergence from her little dreams into the arms of some warm cuddles and kisses. She’s caught onto the schedule and loves some interactive play time with a ball where she willingly fetches and brings it bCk to her mama. She’s caught on even further that her one ball gets retrieved and placed delicately into the red launcher her mama is holding. She is so damn smart!

This leads me to believe not only is she an over achiever in my eyes, but she’s going to need harder challenges. You see Akita’s are known to be very smart- but if not challenged you will begin to see your base boards destroyed and yard dug up in no time. Off to amazon I go in search for the equivalent of Baby Einstein toys.

Her repertoire of skills go from sitting for her dinner. Responding to sit, lay down, stay and come Geisha!

That’s when she feels like it.

Her “stubbornness” that I heard about in our Akita Research can be seen mostly around when she’s not ready to “ Come Geisha!!!”

She loves her time at the top of the stairs where can be seen regally peering down at her peasant humans below. There she has a perfect vantage point to guard her home- you see she already believes she is working and on duty. From her perspective she takes this job seriously and will not leave her post unless one of her humans is need of her help. Akita’s are not only hunters which you can see in her stalking behaviour with her balls and toys- but she is a certifiable guard dog.

My mom who is 79 is her #1- She takes her job protecting her as seriously as the secret service. She ensures “grandma” makes it down the stairs, and will escort her to the kitchen and from the kitchen to the couch where she resumes her post.

It’s worked out perfectly since my moms little lap dog had since passed and was grieving the loss. I had seen some leeriness prior to Geishas arrival as she wasn’t familiar with such a large breed dog who came with a “reputation” that proceeded her. As many experienced dog owners know these reputations in breeds can be discouraging and unfair to our beloved family fur members. Safe to say grandma is smitten and try to tell her otherwise that Akita’s aren’t the best breeds ever!

So here are a few updated images of our little baby! Her little floppy ears have popped and so has her fascinating little personality!

Looking back on January’s “Wipe Those Tears: The January Blues is Here so Embrace it.” (The Empaths are closed for Business)

I think it is only the socially responsible thing to as to forwarn you prior to diving too deep into my lastest post that this is entirely the opposite of what maybe your dark weathered spirit was seeking.

I won’t apologize for not guiding you towards the sunlight, nor suggest that you spend some time writing in your gratitude journal. You will not see me in the peripheral cheer leading you towards your efforts to eat a salad or take your vitamins today. I’ll be damned if I tell you to wake up early and spend some time meditating to the sonnet of the sunrise.

The fact is, mentally we all hit a wall sometimes. Imagine that my wall has several dents, and a game of Tik Tac Go Fuck Yo’Self written across it.

While I do not deny for the most part that I drink from the “Positive Outlook Kool-Aid Jar,” I do find after the year we have all shared that my jar runneth empty. An even sicker joke perhaps is that someone filled my jar and forgot the sugar.

Typically during this time of year many of us would have already broke our News Years Resolution, or alternatively some would be attacking their 2021 dreams with shear commitment. Like Clockwork, our January timelines would be slathered with the juice monkeys complaints that the newbies have infiltrated their muscle temples. Many of us would be experiencing a steady stream of turned down invites for cocktails, due to the Sober January subscribers-only to be contacted 2 weeks later to hear that sobriety is for the birds. January for me has historically been my favorite time of year for shopping as I adore combing the sales racks of Nordstrom’s and Saks for next winters wardrobe. This typically is also the time of year I begin to think about a tropical holiday somewhere and start to narrow down my destination list, while adding to my online wish list of bathing suits and sarongs. Needless to say the post Christmas lull has offered enough buffers to counteract the melancholy of the January Blues.

January blues? - Meme on Imgur

In honor of a buffer-less January I figured the best way to offer my support is by offering none at all. I believe most of us have done a great job the last 9-10 months trying to do the best we can with the dumpster fire that has been handed to us. I think in all fairness, its okay to dedicate this month to feeling discouraged, and allow some of that cynicism to seep out of ones pores like the sweet stale smell of hangover and poor life choices.

I’ve made a prudent effort to stay away from social media or any platform that might try to remind me politely that I’m acting like a gluttonous, self absorbed, lazy piece of human flesh. Its quite easy to actually do when you spend the majority of the time counting down the minutes before work is over and anticipating when you can have another bowl Cap’n Crunch before you resume your date with the ceiling fan. It can feel like a drastic fall from grace if you are not used to the doll drums that sorrow can bring. I am no stranger to depression, and I would do anything to avoid the depression I’ve experienced by adhering to a regiment of treatment and medication when needed. However, this is not that, and this state of “nothingness” I welcome with open arms. To be clear this is not a state of mental health, but perhaps just sadness in its purest sense. Sadness is meant to maneuver its way through the senses and serve as a reminder that life can expose us to a Kaleidescope of polarizing emotions that we familiarize ourselves with. It is how we process the experiences around us; that in turn ignite thought; create a feeling, then provoke response. So you see, if we never processed sadness, we’d never act on creating better outcomes.

Consequently this topic often makes people uncomfortable. I think folks often assume the term “happiness” is this fragile concept whereby the term “Protect your Energy,” has resulted in people’s inability to listen or appreciate the magic of sitting in or next to sadness. You have met these people, in fact, catch any one of us on a good flat tummy day and we are these people. Some take this role further and write books or devote their Instagram platforms as self proclaimed experts who sit on their throne of privilege and preach that “Being Positive” is as simple as a few steps. It is through Sadness that we gain perspective and recognize not every self disclosure of despair requires a silver lining.

Pin by Sarcastic Sarcasms on Words of Wisdom | Positive attitude quotes,  Positive attitude, Attitude quotes

Whoever said Misery loves company was a damn fool because my misery needs no witnesses. I’d just like to percolate within this funk until I feel good an ready to face the world.

To be perfectly transparent when I struggle in my own abilities to be the bubbly ray of sunshine I’m known to be among my peers, I realize how darn condescending that is to assume we all have it in us to just switch the happy light on. In reality how crazy is it to offer “positive vibes” to someone who is losing a business, or someone who is dying and unable to see their family before they die. Truth be told… Positivity does not always hold space in our lives nor is it an acceptable “plug-in” for those uncomfortable with accepting that life can just be a bag of dicks.

I know with regards to my own creative process and content I felt psychologically bound and gagged as a result of not being able to put something I’d consider “helpful” into words for my readers. Until I experienced my very own epiphany around what I consider helpful. For me its hearing about other people just like me. In fact, connecting with others who too may have eaten Nutella by the spoonful this last month, and secretly found pleasure in playing with their belly fat as it took flight to the surface of their bathwater. Maybe others will giggle in delight that they too have spent 3 weeks straight playing Money Winning Game Apps for hours on end and somehow still feel they are so close to winning that Amazon Gift Card. Lets not forget the overgrown broken acrylic nails and self bleached yellow roots of hair that glow like torches of despair, reminders of what was during better times. Whoever said Misery loves company was a damn fool because my misery needs no witnesses. I’d just like to percolate within this funk until I feel good an ready to face the world.

I am a glorious HOT MESS…I can’t be alone in this.

Unfortunately in my conquest to commit to a month of Melancholy… I unearthed an audacious article that managed to find 17 Benefits and Traits of Melancholic People. Here I was hoping I’d repel the masses but Positivity clearly has its tentacles into everything.

According to Kelly Spears , a Mental Health Advocate and Freelance Writer, most Melancholics are very self-reliant, who rely mainly on their powers, resources, and strength beyond any other person. Kelly states that:

“Typically, this could work out positive for them, and on some occasions, it may not. Also, the melancholic personality is very thoughtful. This essentially means that they think through their actions and typically weigh their options before taking steps. Also, melancholics can behave very reserved. So, essentially, it means most melancholics don’t feel comfortable sharing their feelings, emotions, or thoughts to anyone. Consequently, melancholics usually find it easy to control their emotions and keep their feelings in check. On a positive note, this normally makes them maintain a steady and stable mood most of the time.”

Kelly has the Positivity Gestapo written all over her.

But nonetheless, as we all work through the January Blues I’m anxious to hear about how you are all coping or more interestingly not coping. My goal is to bring our tales of woe together from a safe distance that doesn’t require much effort, much like the pajamas I wore for my zoom mtg today.

Stay Brooding Readers!

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